A boundary is not a punishment and should not be used to control another person.

A boundary is not a punishment and should not be used to control another person. “If you speak to me this way, I will end the conversation” is a boundary because it explains what you will do. “You are no longer allowed to speak to anyone else” is control because it attempts to govern someone else. A healthy boundary is clear information about what is acceptable to you and what you will do if it is crossed. A boundary does not force everyone to agree with you. It helps you choose what you will participate in and what you will leave.